You Are Not Your Reactions: Part 2

When you can observe them from a mature point of view, with a developed awareness like the one we are discussing, then the more you discover, the more you relax. The more information you have, the more strength you will feel inside.

As we develop the capacity to work with the mind in a mature way, we can discover how to let go of the need to react, as well as the need to suppress our emotions through a sense of self-judgment. We can simply learn to observe our emotional reactions from an impartial perspective, which will strike a balance between these two tendencies. Then we are no longer trapped in a puritanical view of ourselves, and we can also recognize the depth and complexity of these emotions. They are not black and white; they are not as “solid” as we think.

Separate from the emotions themselves, we can also speak of the sensations they create. The sensations that accompany reactive emotions can be pleasant or unpleasant. What we call “pleasant” is simply something we crave. What we are not accustomed to, or what seems unpleasant, we respond to as negative.

Here, again, if you do not react in this habitual way to likes and dislikes, but instead observe and study these reactions, you may discover that the intense sensations of depression, fear, or insecurity contain a sense of awakening potential. Making contact with this sense of awakening found in the sensations is much better than simply feeling numb or drowsy. It is also much better to maintain contact with this potential for awakening than to become so excited that you lose your ground.
So the instruction here is not to enter into these conceptual reactions. By this I mean do not react conceptually to the sensations that arise by thinking, “Oh, these feelings are not good,” and then try to get rid of them immediately; or tell yourself, “This is not pleasant” and try to escape them.

When you allow a little space for your sensations, simply by being present, then most of the time you will be able to discover so much about the sensation and the whole process of your response to it. After all, the sensation itself is a reaction. On the other hand, if we always give in to any immediate reaction, whether the reactive emotion, or the sensation, or the reaction against the sensation, and so on, then we are just creating a chain of connected reactions and generating additional consequences.

There are two types of sensations: physical sensations and emotional sensations. Emotional sensations seem to be the most difficult for people to work with. A physical sensation is much more gross and definable, so they are usually easier to work with. People know how to have a headache until they get aspirin, for example. It seems most people have enough inner strength to do that.

But it is different emotionally. Because there is so much haziness or confusion associated with it, there is usually little tolerance for the emotional aspects. If you can provide or create enough space around that emotional reactivity, I think you will discover quite a lot. Perhaps you will see that it is insecurity. Once you give some space to it, without trying to get rid of it immediately or trying to keep your feelings safe through other means, you can recognize your past tendencies, how you reacted when you felt insecure, and how it affected your self-esteem.

When you release the grasping, the attachments, the rejection, while still maintaining the sensations of feeling insecure, then the sensation can suddenly become very energetic. You begin to feel an incredible sense of energy inside. Even though you may have started out feeling awful, it is almost as if you begin to feel like a mountain or a warrior, someone connected to the sky and the earth without getting lost. The earth is solidly there, the sky is above you, and you are in the middle, present and standing.

Much confidence comes from this, as well as an understanding of how to be very authentic. Whenever we sincerely work with our mind in this way, we become very authentic.

Read Part 3 of this article here.

Originally published at Mangala Shri Bhuti