The Illusion of the Self

An exaggerated sense of self-esteem, self-centeredness, and egocentrism form the basis for impulses of attraction and aversion, which quickly develop into mental afflictions of hatred, desire, arrogance, envy, and lack of discernment.

By contrast, seeing the “self” as a mere convention or as a label assigned to our dynamic stream of experience; consciousness in relation to body and world; stands in harmony with the interdependent and impermanent nature of reality. It leads to a state of well-being rooted in wisdom, altruism, compassion, and inner freedom. To reach this understanding, one must carefully examine the notion of a “self” that could possibly constitute an autonomous and separate entity.

This analysis reveals that the self cannot exist apart from the body and the experience of consciousness. It cannot be intrinsically associated with the physical constituents of the body, since it has no location, form, or color. Finally, the self cannot be found in the stream of consciousness, within which past thoughts have vanished, future thoughts have not yet arisen, and present thoughts do not remain. Thus, we conclude that the self is a mere convention.

From moment to moment between birth and death, the body undergoes constant transformation and the mind becomes the stage for countless emotional and conceptual experiences. Yet we attribute qualities of permanence, singularity, and autonomy to the self. Moreover, when we begin to feel that this self is highly vulnerable and must be protected and satisfied, aversion and attachment come into play; aversion toward anything that threatens the self, attachment to everything that pleases it. These two basic feelings, attraction and repulsion, are sources of an entire ocean of conflicting emotions.

Out of fear of the world and others, afraid of suffering, anxious about living and dying, we imagine that by retreating into the bubble of ego, we will be protected. We create the illusion of being separate from the world, hoping thereby to avoid suffering. In reality, the opposite occurs, since clinging to ego is a powerful magnet for attracting suffering.

Our attachment to the perception of a “self” as a separate entity leads to a growing sense of vulnerability and insecurity. It also reinforces self-centeredness, mental rumination, and thoughts of hope and fear, and we distance ourselves from others. This imagined “self” becomes the constant victim struck by the events of life.

Where then is the self? It cannot be exclusively in my body, because when I say “I am proud,” it is my consciousness that is proud, not my body. Then is it in my consciousness? When I say, “Someone pushed me,” was my consciousness being pushed? Of course not. The self obviously cannot exist outside the body and consciousness. The only way out of this dilemma is to consider the self as a mental or verbal designation linked to the body and consciousness. The self is merely an idea.

Paradoxically, genuine self-confidence is a natural quality of the absence of ego. Dispelling the illusion of ego is freeing oneself from a fundamental vulnerability. Genuine confidence comes from awareness of a basic quality of our mind and our potential for transformation and flourishing, what Buddhism calls “Buddha-nature,” present in all of us.

Paul Ekman, one of the world's leading experts in the science of emotion, was inspired to study “people endowed with exceptionally human qualities.” Among the most remarkable traits shared by these people, he observes, are “an impression of kindness, a way of being that others can feel and appreciate, and unlike so many charismatic charlatans, a perfect harmony between their private and public lives.” They emanate kindness.

Above all, writes Ekman, they display “an absence of ego. These people inspire others by how little they make of their status and fame; in short, their own self. They never give a second thought to whether their position or importance is recognized.” “Such lack of self-centeredness,” he adds, “is utterly bewildering from a psychological point of view.” Ekman also emphasizes how “people instinctively want to be in their company, and even though they cannot always explain why, they find their presence enriching. In essence, they emanate kindness.”

If the ego were truly our deepest essence, it would be easy to understand our reluctance to let it go. But if it is merely an illusion, freeing ourselves from it is not tearing out the heart of our being, but simply opening our eyes.

Rather than weakening the individual, understanding the non-existence of an independent “self” leads to a profound sense of inner freedom, strength, and openness toward others, which allows the flowering of love and altruistic compassion, rooted in wisdom.

Originally published at Matthieu Ricard